One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How's work?
Spinning.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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