that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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