Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
