Pants 0. Shit 1.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
