Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
