I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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