Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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