my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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