He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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