There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There's always time for handjobs
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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