Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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