I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
