You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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