wake up i wanna do it froggy style
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
