Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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