we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
