party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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