hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You made out with two different species that night
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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