Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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