I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
