I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So apparently I’m into choking now
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
