she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
