She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
