I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
