Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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