im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
