Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
