Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
