I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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