I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
