4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
