I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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