his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
