would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm getting married
To pizza
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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