Got a toothbrush?
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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