Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
