so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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