You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
