i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
