Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
