can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
