I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
