I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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