Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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