I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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