remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
