I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
