ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
