like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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