Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
