all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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