Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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