Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
