Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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