i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
