My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
