my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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